Show #98- Marcus Buckingham, Part II- The Truth About You

In the second half of my conversation with Marcus Buckingham, we discuss why kids with learning difference don't always fit into a standard model, but how it's even more important that we find things that engage them and make them shine. Every child has something terrific and unique to contribute, and too often, the one-size fits all system ignores what individuals can add to the mix.

We discuss how self-esteem is great, but self-efficacy, performance and contribution are the real measures of success. In the end, success should be defined by finding out where you can make the greatest contribution, not always by external metrics of bank accounts. Many kids with learning difficulties have gone on to be wildly successful by almost every metric as adults, ranging from doctors, like Dr. Edward Hallowell, to actors like Henry Winkler and Tom Cruise, to business people, like Charles Schwab. Part of this success is not about an easy path, but finding where on the path they seemed to belong, and that's what I think we wish for all of our children.

Marcus Buckingham is currently on a book tour across the Country- you can check this out at his website, www.marcusbuckingham.com. Marcus is also hosting an online seminar you can take as time suits as part of Oprah Winfrey's Change Your Life program, which you shouldn't miss. And I guarantee that Marcus's new book, The Truth About You is well worth the purchase price.

For visitors to the website, I am running a special contest! Send an email to ldpodcast@gmail.com by November 1, 2008, with your feedback about the interview with Marcus Buckingham, and you can win an audio book version of Marcus's first book, "First, Break all the Rules", and a copy of The Truth About You. We'll randomly select a winner from all entrants!
Click here to listen to Marcus Buckingham- The Truth about You

Marcus Buckingham- The Truth About You

Show #97- Marcus Buckingham, The Truth About You, Part 1
I've been a fan of Marcus Buckingham's work for years. Through his books, I've helped to identify what I do best, and it's helped me focus on where I can be most helpful and productive. Marcus has a brand new Kit out called the Truth About You- which combines a book, DVD, small pad to track strengths and weaknesses and links to online material, that is truly excellent. I admit having some initial skepticism, as I am not a big "kit" person, but I was really impressed by everything, especially the DVD material. So much that I sat my kids down to watch as well, to reinforce that they need to start looking at what they do best, every day, for themselves.


The first half of my conversation with Marcus addresses what strengths are, and why this is so much more than just what your child is good at, or some mystic way to boost their self-esteem. A strengths-based approach is trying to help your child figure out where they are most effective- where they contribute the most, as well as what gives them the most joy and success. This is about actual performance and outcomes for kids, not just puffery. And importantly, Marcus also talks about his own experiences with his son, and why we have to help kids honor who they are and make the most of it every day.


In the second half, we talk more about how we need to help kids get really specific about their strengths and where they're most effective. In the DIY culture, we're all supposed to be the est at everything, but in reality, it means we may be a jack of all trades but a master at none. We ask kids to be perfect at all aspects of school, yet do very little to let them really investigate and hone their areas of interest and natural talent. This does not mean doing the easy thing- nothing's harder than continuously honing and improving your skills- and this has the side effect of building resiliency along the way- a one-two punch for setting kids on a path of knowing who they are and realizing how very much they have to offer.

Click here to listen to Show #97- Marcus Buckingham- The Truth About You

Show # 86 Jenifer Fox- Your Child’s Strengths

This week’s show features the second half of my interview with Jenifer Fox. Jenifer’s new book, Your Child’s Strengths is one of the best books I’ve read this year, and it provides a blueprint for changing your child’s experience in school. This seems like a radical notion at first, but very small changes, such as looking at your child’s true strengths and giving them opportunities to do what they do best can change the way a child sees themselves and the world.

The Search for Strengths

One of the first steps in finding a child’s strengths starts by talking to them, listening, and looking for some patterns in their natural interests. Jenifer and I talk about how to find out more about your child, and how unstructured time can sometimes be a great place to begin looking and observing your child’s natural interests and proclivities. While there’s a trend to make sure children have structured play and are adequately supervised at all times, this doesn’t give them a lot of time or choice to really discover what makes them special as individuals.

This also means allowing your child to be disappointed and learning how to deal with that- positive psychology and reinforcement is NOT about making their lives perfect and happy all the time, but helping them develop a sense of solving their problems and be willing to take the risks necessary to learn and grow.

If we make our approach in schools more “project-based” (and please, no, I am not recommending any more posters or dioramas on the Book Report for the month…) meaning that children learn from examples and by doing as much as possible, we may be able to make the education they receive more meaningful. By the way, the case-based or project-based learning approach is one used in graduate schools, from business schools to law schools, currently. We just need to begin to apply this to younger students!

We need to collect specific information about what a child does well-this is essential to finding ways to build on the successes, and clues to other talents that might be hidden otherwise.

We also talk about what to do when teacher- student relationships are rocky, and how to go about trying to reach some sort of working relationship- what Nancy Hennessey from the IDA calls “Dystechia” It’s tough, but sometimes it seems we do have to teach our kids how to work the system or play the game. We also talk about the difference between entertainment and engagement, and how teachers need to be able to parse the difference, as do parents.

Recommended books and links in this episode:

The Unhurried Child

Dr. Bob Brooks- Raising a Self-Disciplined Child; Raising Resilient Children

Affinities Program at Purnell School

The Gates Foundation Report on High School Dropouts

Sara Lawrence Lightfoot- The Essential Conversation: What Parents and Teachers Can Learn from Each Other

BBC Article on Basic Sums Stressing Adults

ooVoo- online interactive chat (free service) for up to six people at a time

The Science Leadership Academy in Philadelphia and Chris Lehmann- His blog is Practical Theory

Click here to download Show #86- Jenifer Fox